Snippets for a worried mind 

Jim wakes up, only to wonder what this new-fangled day has in store. Wary thoughts keep troubling his fragile mind, bogged down by petty worries. The ceiling fan rotating is reminiscent of his life itself. The callous breath he takes is a seldom reminder of the fine whiskey he quietly worked through last night. Suddenly while rubbing his eyes slow flashes from the night come back, he briefly remembers what he did.

Every step to the bathroom becomes an eternity. Following a slow rumble in the tummy saliva starts to fill up his mouth and boom it all came out, the little unpleasant smell in the bathroom makes him puke. After all that trouble he finally gives it all away, then you look into the mirror and say “Am done doing this”.

Then to clear things he takes the long route of introspection. Now this road is not new to him, he has been there many times. The difference between this and the others is this time the road is nearing the end. His job, his friends, the ever present girlfriend and of course that money crisis, just keeps giving him hits that the worse is yet to come.

The coffee machine rings an alarm, he quietly snubs it off. Lost in a sea of thoughts he tosses few eggs and sausages. The loud neighbors trying to sort out their issues takes him back to the house he lived in not too long ago. Through the broken window he looks at some thing that brings a big smile on his face, the world to him suddenly changes. There she stood in a red skirt, her long curly black hair adorned her almost pallid face.

After a few moments of bliss his PDA rang, he wonders who could call him on this disastrous Sunday morning. He looked at the phone screen, and then disaster. His boss who is on his quite little hiatus calls to check on how the business is doing. The last things on his mind are numbers and figures. He tries to ignore the call, but then some thing makes him pick it up.

After pick up the call, he switches on the ‘suck up’ button. The nasty laugh of his boss followed by a line of questions to which half prompted answer slyly manages to suffice. In the back ground are the laughs of his innocent yet subtly nasty kids and not to forget that creepy wife. After that never ending conversation you switch that damn PDA.

Then a familiar sound, it’s the grumpy servant, who in all ways wants to get into his life. After entering she sniffs around like a sewer rat, trying to pick us scents of doubt. He carries on into the light starved bed room after a set of instructions. The wall thronged by half naked posters of women, rock n roll bands, a bed which converts into a useful cupboard, empty bottles of Carlsberg and a whole bunch of books. Also in the room was his priced possession, a uber cool mountain bike and his trekking gear.

He lies back on the bed trying to figure out a plan for the long boring day ahead, after a lot of thinking he picks up the phone and calls a few people. No one responds in a way that will suffice his need. Then he decides to take a quiet walk to have a look at the word from the street. At the local coffee bar where a few hookers, they all seemed to be very motivated to get him for some reason. He was not interested in any unacquainted company, he prefers the more “clean” form of company. Little ahead was the local town ground, usually filled with the town goons and ruffians. The gang wars and murders are very famous here, but the cops ignore it.

He walks down ignoring the curses and slang’s by the troublesome faces. Then a pleasant smell greets him, he smiles, knowing he is headed in the right direction. Around the corner are a few hippies playing the banjo and guitar strumming songs of peace and freedom. In the crowd was this seemingly interesting face that caught his eye. He had this instinct for beautiful women, an art he had perfected over the years. Not to say his looks where pervasive, he could not help, he was born with.

In the background of all this, he heard a rough voice “what’s a fine lad like you doing here”.
“If i may offer you my services, from a fine beautiful lady to a little wacky to the Alabama green” with a pause... “I got it all”.

Without much thought he slips in a few bucks, a quite hand shake and he was off. He then walked towards pesos, the pub to have a few beers. Pesos was a famous joint, a meeting place for musicians, artists, hippies, stoners and the local junta. It served only beer, and was popular for its brunch services. Stakes, pop corn, chicken dosa’s where famous on its menu.

He had a few beers, made conversation with random folks who usual spent most of their Sunday’s drinking beer. Half way through his beer, memories flashed through his head, the times when he had a rather successful job guaranteeing him a fat pay check. He spent weekends just getting drunk at pubs with his friends. Friends were a very integral part of life, he valued them and cherished them. Like others he believed in loyalty and trust.

But there was one episode or segment of his life that always bogged down his contented yet troubled mind. Now every time he looks back all he gets are brief bouts of panic , he tries hard not to remember it, but some how like thick glue it sticks onto him.

Not too long ago when he lived in the upper side of the city he was in a gang, and yes this was no ordinary gang. They where notorious and selfless, haunting the neighborhood and casing immense trouble. He was young and careless, though he has a generous job he still choose to be part of the gang. The idea of why never struck him.

One day at a bar while drinking with his friends he bumped into his friend from school. She was surprised to see him and invited him over for a drink. After having a dozen rounds of chivas and laughter filled conversation he asked her over for dinner. He also made confessions of how he used to flutter around her in school and the fact the she never acknowledged Him, nobody liked Jim. He was a reasonably chubby and irritable kid.

“lets get out of this noise, I know a diner close bye” jim said
“I may be drunk but your certainly are asking me out” she blushed.

They cleared the cheque and off they where. They decided to take the alley ways to the diner. Jim was trying to be witty; giving a build up to what could be his lucky night.

“shall we go to my place directly, I have some dinner at home” very slimily he said.
“well, how can I refuse”, she said

They then took a quick detour and started walking towards his place. Remember he had never been attracted by lust, but this time something about her struck him.

As the approached the alley towards his place, they heard some scuffle and shouting. Some voices seemed familiar to him


To be continued when my brain switches back ……..